Towards a ‘Novelistic Survey’ of ‘Hipster Culture’, Provisionally Entitled ‘This is Normcore’, or ‘Notes from Underground 2.0’


‘Where to begin. Here? Okay, I’ll begin here’


‘So I’m in the café-bar, tending less-than-half-heartedly to a Brooklyn* I’d counted more coins over than I’d have liked, corner of my eye laying idle at the entrance, ostensibly scrutinising the framed illustrations on the wall for like the 6th or 7th time, when I hear my name cater-shoulder out of the ambient noise of the not too busy, not too empty main bar, jerk my head a little too quickly in that direction, only to find that whoever has called has called out not to me but to someone else with the same name; maybe even just a similar name that in my picture-scrutinising reverie I’d mistaken for my own. The sort of thing that has been happening lately. A pale girl with the kind of jet, stark hair that a more flamboyant / less-restrained prose stylist might flirt -before thinking better of it- with describing as “obsidian”. Already seated and not so much calling out to, evidently, as utilising in an already initiated and ongoing conversation, volume heightened slightly perhaps in order to lend faux-indignation to some sort of mock-theatrical, scandalised stance -taken up in response to a salty quip or lascivious anecdote or something- the lucid bent of her lips become infected now by the near-pathologically self-assured grin opposite, enthroned like a regent in its stiff-bristle, flawlessly honed, light-catchingly-honey-brown topiary, terminating abruptly mid-ear at bic-shaven scalp topped with raked glaze of boot-polish hair. A regular pogonology this place is becoming, I think, to nobody in particular. Showing off again, probably. The study of beards. “Pogonology”. Nobody in particular’

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